The Tale of Tattling Trixie*

Originally Posted: 2019

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

As I subbed in a Kindergarten classroom this morning, I participated in the following recess conversation.

Tattling Trixie*: “Ms. Jen, Ollie* said the ‘sh’ word! The bad one!”

Me: “He did, huh?” I casually walk over to where Oopsie Ollie is creating a farm from blocks and is presently constructing manure boxes. “Hey guys, raise your hand if you live on a farm.” No surprise, Ollie’s hand shoots up. I thought so. “Cool! But we’re going to use polite words here at school, ok?”

TT: “Yeah, ‘cuz Ollie said the ‘sh’ word.”

OO: “It was an accident. It just slipped out.”

Me: “I appreciate your honesty, bud.” (Incident over.)

TT: (not happy with this non-confrontational resolution) “But he said sh!t!”

Me: “Yeah, well, you just said it, too.”

TT: (horrified) “No, I didn’t!!”

Me: “Sure you did. Just now.”

TT: (head explodes)

Moral of the story: If your classmate starts talkin’ sh!t, just mind ya bidness.