Congrats, Graduate

by Jen Telger

Here we are, folks, about to enter another fantastic season. Not spring, of course, when Mother Nature shows off glorious cherry and magnolia blossoms on over-wintered branches. No, I’m talking about high school graduation season. That wonderful time of year when kids throw caps and parties, and parents throw cash and humble-brags, flexing, trying to impress upon us how much their child deserves to drive a fancier car than that of his or her mother. That time of year when grown-ups post to social media to shout from the rooftops that their genius progeny has formally “announced” their college choice. No one mentions that they’ve been given a first-round draft pick to the crippling loan program of their choice, of course. Unless they’ve earned a full ride, in which case we’re sure to hear about it.

Meanwhile, there are those students who have chosen a different school: the School of Hard Knocks. These adventurous creatures gird their guts and grab their nuts, worrying their parents as they head out into the world to make their own way, in their own style and time. They’re ready to change the world by observing its problems and inventing solutions via undeterred trial and error. They may yet run the world.

Finally, there are those students who chose a trade school instead. These canny characters go happily about their business, secure in the knowledge that they will have to work very hard but will likely find it very rewarding. And in five years’ time, they will be out-earning their university counterparts, having graduated with skills the world needs and having met employers ready to hire.

What of the skills in hand when these kids walk out the door to greet their future, then? Will driving a shiny new car help them manage their bank account? Will a high school G.P.A of 4.0+ (is the plus really necessary??) teach them life management skills? Will an epic shindig give them a leg up on life? Likely not. But perhaps there are other things we can give kids that will help make the path ahead a bit easier. As we all know, adulting gets messy.

Perhaps we could sit with them and go over how an amortized loan works or accompany them to a bank to find out and learn together if we’re unsure. Maybe we could show them how to set up – and follow – a 6-month budget or a small investment account into which they commit to adding $10 a month. Then there’s understanding the insurance either they or you carry on them, both auto and medical. Maybe we can even help them set up their legal documents. You know, the morbid ones no one wants to think about: Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, things that become important when life takes a wrong turn, as it sometimes does.

That’s not to say parents shouldn’t be proud of their grads and relieved that they’ve reached adulthood alive. Whether they’ve over-achieved, scraped by, or met challenges no one else can begin to imagine, go ahead and be insanely proud of your kid. But if you do buy them that shiny new car, if that’s just your family’s “thing,” model humility and prop it against the console. In fact, set it right next to the reminder card for your meeting with an attorney to get their documents set up. It may not be as sexy or cool as the car, but it’ll hold loads more value.