My vet shot me today. Wait…no. Mom says I say that wrong. I’m supposed to say, “my vet gave me a shot,” but I don’t see what difference it really makes. It sure felt like she shot me. She called it “Distemper,” which also doesn’t make any sense ‘cuz it ticked me RIGHT off. My temper was not “dis” anything. I even bared my teeth at her and I’ve never done that to anybody before!

Anyway, I am SO many shades of confused about humans right now. See, when I eat rabbit poo, which, as I’ve mentioned, is almost the best thing ever, Mom tells me that’s UNhealthy. (How could something that tastes that good be unhealthy??) Then today, I go to the vet, where everyone was all squidgy and nice to me the other day, smiling, cooing, and petting, and she straight-up shivs me like I’d stolen the last Pupsicle from the cell block or something and tells me that’s HEALTHY. What?! Oh, yeah, I’m lovin’ my ride on the Hurt Bus to Healthytown. And not even a morsel of consolation rabbit poo. I just don’t understand it at all.

But I have to say I had it better than the French Bulldog puppy that was at the vet with me. He’s eleven weeks old and his big brother bulldog steamrolled him on the stairs this morning and broke his leg. The doctors have to put a screw in his elbow! I didn’t even know I HAD elbows!! I think I’m glad I have human siblings instead ‘cuz that just seems like a rough deal. My brother doesn’t push ME down any stairs. I think I’ll just take my shot and go home, thank-you-very-much. Mom said it would free me up to go to the park now anyway and that seemed like it might be a good thing. A good thing from a bad thing. See what I mean? Super confusing!!

On the way home, Mom stopped and got me a harness that fits a little better. I got to go INSIDE the store! That was CRAZY! Of course, people flipped out over me again, which I’m used to by now. But I saw some other dogs there that looked pretty scary. They were huge! Mom says that in another week I can meet those kinds of guys and play with them if they’re nice but, I’ll be honest with you, some of those guys have poops bigger than me. I can’t think of a single situation where I’d hang around if they asked to share my stick. No, sir! I’ll be all, “S’okay. You take it. I’ma go grab this other one over here.”

Once we got home, we did go to the park. It’s Outside. It was the first time I’d ever left my new yard, which was a little scary, but I got used to it super quick. I thought my yard was huge, but the park is amaz-a-doodles!! SO. MUCH. TO. SNIFF!! We walked around forever! I even got to go back when my sister got home. I have a feeling I’ll hang out there a lot. At least until a big dog shows up.

Oh, before I go, I have to tell you about a new obsession I’ve found Outside. Grubs!! I have to lick the ground a lot to get down to them, but I’d lick the stainless steel off a fridge to get to those little guys! De-lish! I’ll even let rabbit poo go when Mom says “leave it” but there is no pulling me away from grubs! (And don’t tell me they’re unhealthy ‘cuz you’re wrong.) If your mom freaks out about rabbit poo, try the grubs if she’ll let you. You won’t be disappointed!

Ok, I gotta go get my snuggle on with Dad. Talk to you soon!

Cricket